Anyone who has ever been in a relationship has experienced the fact that there will come times when things will be on the rocks, and marriage is not exceptional. After the honeymoon things change as the two who became one now start making decisions as one. If one makes a decision, it affects the other and sometimes the results are good, sometimes they are bad, and the worst case is a divorce. To some, this seems like a good option when things are not working, but to me, it was the worst experience of my life. After analysis of the time we were together with my wife, these are some of the marriage killers I learned.
Lack of intimacy
Among the ingredients of a marriage is love, passion and trust, but for all these to make sense, a couple must strive to be intimate. Intimacy is all about total connection: spiritually, emotionally and mentally. In the early days of our marriage, it looked like we were intimate; we could do things together; there were things I knew she would like even without asking her. The place where this began to fall apart is when we both got more responsibilities at work. This meant we had little time together and most of the time, we were too tired to stay awake. We took higher paying jobs at the expense of our intimacy.
Finding satisfaction elsewhere
Initially, when we started spending time away from each other, we would find ways of making up for this. We would make use of free weekends and so on. But after a while, we started skipping these important dates and things went south. The worst part is that, we got so accustomed to this that we stopped missing each other.
The phone calls became fewer and the love messages dwindled. On my side, this opened my eyes to start seeing others in the office. My weakness for other women was exposed and I gave in. Even though I did it secretly, the results were obvious. I no longer desired sex with my wife as I could get it somewhere else. This worsened our relationship and before I knew it, I started suspecting her for cheating, I guess it is true what they say, guilt breeds suspicion.
Loss of interest
Marriage should be approached as a life time thing, but even with such knowledge, a lot of marriages fail due to temporal reasons such as when a spouse gains weight, falls sick or loses their job. People who marry for money, beauty and other things that do not guarantee sustenance are usually the first to fall off the tree of marriage. Such couples end up cheating on each other in the end.
Life is dynamic and people change; the slim figure you married today will become a round shape tomorrow, hence be prepared for that if you do not want to end up in a divorce. The longer my wife stayed at work, the less time she spent at the gym. This affected her physical appearance. Stress at work made her turn to eating for relief, and that is how she grew bigger. I lost my interest in her.
When a marriage is still in the honeymoon stage, couples tend to appreciate each other for the lamest of reasons. But as couples grow old, they become familiar with each other and forget the things that made their marriage rosy. Ours did not need to take long as we neglected our own duties in the house and when we did things for each other, none of us said thank you. Occasionally we would fight over this. These little things changed the purpose of our marriage and it was the beginning of the end.