When a beautiful rose stops giving scent, it becomes subject to being trampled upon and crushed under the feet. That is exactly what a failed marriage is. Marriage is designed to bring two different people under one roof for great moments for a lifetime, but this is not the case, as a good number have ended in a divorce. And, mine was not exceptional. From our honeymoon, we were the love birds that no one could separate, but a time came when we did not want to even look at each other. Though my marriage failed, it was not all lost as I gathered a few lessons to go on with in life.
Sexual intimacy should not be compromised
The truth is, on my side, I needed sex regularly and on a higher frequency than my spouse preferred. This prompted me to go out there and look for alternative ways of satisfaction. Soon enough, I ended up starting to stay out longer than I should, and this did not go well with my spouse. This prompted her to stalk me until she caught me having an affair.
Our relationship never recovered to what it used to be. The fact is our marriage broke up due to lack of sexual intimacy. We could have talked about it, but we both thought preferring it in different ways was ok. I learned that issues to deal with sexual intimacy should be sorted out as early as possible to avoid disaster in the future.
Even if this did not happen early in our marriage, we would still have had problems because the older we grow, the less sex we desire, especially for women. So, if this is not handled early enough, it will be the dividing factor in the marriage.
Know the other person
Emotions can be very deceptive and that is why I always advice against making decisions emotionally. In the early stages of the marriage, you will be drawn to each other due to chemical reactions that the body produces. This should not be the reason why you get into a marriage.
I did not take time to study things and learn my spouse enough, and this manifested after we had gotten married. Take time and know the other person; know what they like and they do not like as well as their family, among other things. Get to know the person you are meant to spend the rest of your life with very well.
Know yourself first
The worst thing I did was that I took time to learn my spouse (which I also did not do well), yet I did not know myself. I got married at 21 without knowing clearly who I was at that time. I was clouded by the idea of marriage so much that I forgot to know the things that really mattered to me. I advise against making decisions without knowing what you are offering. I should have taken time and known what exactly I was offering my wife at that time.